Jesus #1 and spouse #2
Frank Park | Founding and Senior Pastor
“Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.’” – John 4:13–14 (ESV)
Marriage is a sacred gift, designed by God to reflect His covenantal love. But even a God-given gift can become an idol when we expect it to satisfy the deepest longings of our soul.
In John 4, Jesus encounters the Samaritan woman at the well. She had been married five times and was living with a sixth man who was not her husband. On the surface, it looked like she had a marriage problem. But Jesus lovingly exposed a deeper issue—she was trying to quench her spiritual thirst with relationships that were never meant to fulfill her. Her real need wasn’t for a better husband—it was for a Savior. Her problem wasn’t relational—it was worship.
How often do we do the same? We look to our spouse to give us what only Christ can: identity, security, peace, joy. We put a weight on marriage that it was never meant to carry. When marriage becomes our foundation, it will buckle under the pressure. But when Christ is our foundation, everything else finds its proper place.
Marriage only works when it is in its proper place—under the Lordship of Jesus, rooted in the gospel, and sustained by His grace. When you have two people who are not under the Lordship of Jesus—you end up with two people holding 2 empty jars wanting the other person to fill it, which will never happen. However, when two people are individually satisfied in Christ, they can love one another, not out of desperation, but out of overflow. They don’t demand wholeness from each other—they share the wholeness they’ve found in Him. They go from two takers to two givers and suddenly this whole marriage things begins to work.
So, if your marriage is strained, the first step may not be to fix the marriage, but to examine your worship. What is your center of gravity on which everything obits around? Is Christ at the center? Are you seeking from your spouse what only the Savior can provide?
Here’s the bottom line: Marriage doesn’t fail because of a design flaw. It fails due to operator error. It fails when we expect it to be what only Jesus is. It’s not a marriage problem—it’s a worship problem. Let Christ be the foundation. Everything else will follow.
Questions to reflect on:
• Am I looking to my spouse to meet needs only Christ can fulfill?
• Is my marriage rooted in worship, or has it become the object of my worship?
• How can I intentionally center Christ in my marriage today?
Marriage is a sacred gift, designed by God to reflect His covenantal love. But even a God-given gift can become an idol when we expect it to satisfy the deepest longings of our soul.
In John 4, Jesus encounters the Samaritan woman at the well. She had been married five times and was living with a sixth man who was not her husband. On the surface, it looked like she had a marriage problem. But Jesus lovingly exposed a deeper issue—she was trying to quench her spiritual thirst with relationships that were never meant to fulfill her. Her real need wasn’t for a better husband—it was for a Savior. Her problem wasn’t relational—it was worship.
How often do we do the same? We look to our spouse to give us what only Christ can: identity, security, peace, joy. We put a weight on marriage that it was never meant to carry. When marriage becomes our foundation, it will buckle under the pressure. But when Christ is our foundation, everything else finds its proper place.
Marriage only works when it is in its proper place—under the Lordship of Jesus, rooted in the gospel, and sustained by His grace. When you have two people who are not under the Lordship of Jesus—you end up with two people holding 2 empty jars wanting the other person to fill it, which will never happen. However, when two people are individually satisfied in Christ, they can love one another, not out of desperation, but out of overflow. They don’t demand wholeness from each other—they share the wholeness they’ve found in Him. They go from two takers to two givers and suddenly this whole marriage things begins to work.
So, if your marriage is strained, the first step may not be to fix the marriage, but to examine your worship. What is your center of gravity on which everything obits around? Is Christ at the center? Are you seeking from your spouse what only the Savior can provide?
Here’s the bottom line: Marriage doesn’t fail because of a design flaw. It fails due to operator error. It fails when we expect it to be what only Jesus is. It’s not a marriage problem—it’s a worship problem. Let Christ be the foundation. Everything else will follow.
Questions to reflect on:
• Am I looking to my spouse to meet needs only Christ can fulfill?
• Is my marriage rooted in worship, or has it become the object of my worship?
• How can I intentionally center Christ in my marriage today?